What have I been up to? And what are the plans?

Hello Internet, today is Friday the 13 of July, 2012. So it goes, and moving on.

So, I've been looking over the last couple of posts from the last year I tried to maintain a blog and I broke many of my own rules and commitments for keeping this blog and in my own writer's path. For one, I did not maintain this blog and second, I wrote two books in the year I said would not be about writing books. So it goes, moving on. There is no falling backwards, there's only stumbling forwards. There is no true commitment, only results. Insert mantra here, moving on.

So the question is, what have I been up to in the last year that kept me away from the blog. Writer's block kept me from the blog and shame kept me from starting up again. So much for the blog. As for writing, I have finished a handful of short stories, at least the first draft and I also finished the third book/part of "Mr. Gravedigger's Apprentice", thereby completing my first book! Or at least a first draft of it. And now the real work/heartache begins. Book Three: The Vampire Lord is (or was in the first draft) 22 chapters long and 30,661 words long. It was completed on September 10th, 2011. And now the real work begins as they say.

The second draft was not a re-visioning draft, but more copy editing. Since most of the book was written on the computer and made up of copy and pasted notes and sections juggled from a myriad of different documents, the first thing to do was to clean up the messes, remove repeated sentences, work on the grammar, make sure the characters' names were all consistent. One character had two or three names throughout the book and another character had their gender switched on multiple occasions. It might change again in later drafts, but for now it was necessary for the flow to have it constant in one. Then came the first read through and I had to cry...

Books and stories are a writer's baby. Sometimes you do your best and what you think is a great idea can become a horrible mess. Hold onto your old drafts and notes and be ready to let go of things you don't need. It's easier said that done and it's still a work in progress.

As for Grandma Hannah, that's all been but abandoned until further notice. Would I go back to it one day? Probably. Today? No. Have I read it recently? The thought of it actually makes me cringe and intrigued at the same time. For a start, I remember the energy and the work went into writing it. On the other hand, I remember the first read through breaking my heart. On the third hand, I remember it having potential. On the fourth, it would be a lot a lot a lot of work. I'll see.

New short stories. I love short stories. They take less time to work then a book eight times it size. I'm not sure if I talked about In The Midst of A Dream yet. It's one I'm pretty proud of, an accumulation of three separate ideas mashed into one short story that may or may not be something even bigger. It isn't, though I keep writing ideas for the book that would come after it. I have a thesis damn it and I want to stick with it.

Then there is "Them", which is a short story practically about a man who begins to see shadows closing in on him and totally not about my parent's separation. It isn't and I'm sticking to that story. There is also an attempt at another story set in the fantasy world next to Rhinestone and Princesss Jenny called "The Pessimist" inspired by the TV series Merlin and my Interpersonal Skills class in college. Both of these stories will be making there way to my Tales of the Dragon Bard site, once they get their baths. (Meaning I'm going to clean them up and tidy... I'm not throwing my laptop in the tub).

Speaking of my alternate site, Nicole Connors has been so kind to redo the color scheme of Tales, making her an amazing woman with more skill and patience than I could ever be. I know, I watched her do it. So thank you Nicole!

Speaking of college, I went to a semester of Redirection through Education. It's a program designed for recovering drug addicts and those with mental health issues who want to work towards education or vocation. It was inspiring and life changing. I'm going back in September.

I'm getting tired so what are some of my plans? Well, I want to write a couple of reviews, an essay I've been working on with my sister and of course FINISH THE BOOK. We shall see what we can come up with. Nap time.

Peace and blessings
Eric Rawlinson
120713

A Year Without A Blogpost

Hello Internet! It is I, Eric Rawlinson, your Dragon Bard! Back from a year hiatus. Well, what have I been up too? Well, I worked on and abandoned another blog, which I've started up again. There have been several deaths in the family, my parents have separated and I am on a quest for spiritual enlightenment.

:)

So how've you been internet? Did you miss me?

I'm beginning to feel in my brain the beginnings of the headache I feel when I write, like a physical force in my brain trying to stop me from writing. You're working to hard, it says. Relax, play a video game. Do you know what I say to that force? Nothing. No swear words, no cry of defiance, nothing. I ignore it, even if I can feel it snaking its away around in my head. I don't know how many people know how physical obsession can be, but for me, it's almost a living creature in my brain.

So I do whatever I can to write. Because to write is what I want to do. Writing gives me the voice that I want, the feelings that I really want. It doesn't mask my pain, it expresses it, it puts it down on paper, or in the case the screen, and then I spread it to others, bearing myself to other people. Does it take courage? Yes. But courage is not the absence of fear, it is the will to do what needs to be done. And what needs to be done? I need to be happy with who I am. And what makes me happy? Writing "The End" at the bottom of a page.... Okay, so I don't really write The End at the bottom of a page, you know what I mean, it's a metaphor. The point is, I almost stopped writing this blog post three or four times. I've conjured up my anima and myself to keep going and I never took my fingers off the keys. Because I want to write. And I can't be a writer if I don't write.

This is a rant, I know, but it's also a written rant. Which means I've written something. Which means I'll go to bed happy tonight knowing I've done something I love instead of going to bed knowing I wasted this moment.

Now's the point where this gets really emotionally, as I want to cry. I can't stop. This is part of who I am and this is where I'm going to grow. Thank you for being a part of this. You've played a small part in reading, who ever you maybe.

:)

I'm not sure what I'm trying to say, so I'll say it like this. My name is Eric Rawlinson, I am the Dragon Bard. And I'm back again.

Peace and blessings
Eric Rawlinson
120712

No Promises, Just Results.