A Year Without A Blogpost

Hello Internet! It is I, Eric Rawlinson, your Dragon Bard! Back from a year hiatus. Well, what have I been up too? Well, I worked on and abandoned another blog, which I've started up again. There have been several deaths in the family, my parents have separated and I am on a quest for spiritual enlightenment.

:)

So how've you been internet? Did you miss me?

I'm beginning to feel in my brain the beginnings of the headache I feel when I write, like a physical force in my brain trying to stop me from writing. You're working to hard, it says. Relax, play a video game. Do you know what I say to that force? Nothing. No swear words, no cry of defiance, nothing. I ignore it, even if I can feel it snaking its away around in my head. I don't know how many people know how physical obsession can be, but for me, it's almost a living creature in my brain.

So I do whatever I can to write. Because to write is what I want to do. Writing gives me the voice that I want, the feelings that I really want. It doesn't mask my pain, it expresses it, it puts it down on paper, or in the case the screen, and then I spread it to others, bearing myself to other people. Does it take courage? Yes. But courage is not the absence of fear, it is the will to do what needs to be done. And what needs to be done? I need to be happy with who I am. And what makes me happy? Writing "The End" at the bottom of a page.... Okay, so I don't really write The End at the bottom of a page, you know what I mean, it's a metaphor. The point is, I almost stopped writing this blog post three or four times. I've conjured up my anima and myself to keep going and I never took my fingers off the keys. Because I want to write. And I can't be a writer if I don't write.

This is a rant, I know, but it's also a written rant. Which means I've written something. Which means I'll go to bed happy tonight knowing I've done something I love instead of going to bed knowing I wasted this moment.

Now's the point where this gets really emotionally, as I want to cry. I can't stop. This is part of who I am and this is where I'm going to grow. Thank you for being a part of this. You've played a small part in reading, who ever you maybe.

:)

I'm not sure what I'm trying to say, so I'll say it like this. My name is Eric Rawlinson, I am the Dragon Bard. And I'm back again.

Peace and blessings
Eric Rawlinson
120712

No Promises, Just Results.