(George Carlin once said, "These are the kinds of things I think about when I'm home alone and the power goes out." Well, here's the type of thing I write when I wake up at 2 o'clock in the morning and everything I write is a brilliant idea. Enjoy!
Peace and blessings
Eric Rawlinson
20110123)
The one thing that Ark Riley hated in all of the known universe was getting into an argument with the Psycho Duck. It wasn't because he would always lose. On the contrary, he won often enough. It was the fact that whenever either of them butted heads, it always ended up in them getting married. No matter the reason of the fight, sooner or later, they would both end up in an elaborate wedding, with all of their friends watching, with Psycho Duck as his blushing bride. He had known Psycho Duck for seven years, and during that time they had been married twenty five times.
Ark Riley would be the first to admit that he was a bitter man. Life had made him that way. It's not easy going through life when immortality and god like powers are forced upon you in a twisted experiment. But he thought he had learned to cope with his new life and his strengths. That is, until he met Psycho Duck.
Psycho Duck was something of a mystery, but Ark Riley knew exactly what upset him so much. Psycho Duck had all of the knowledge that Ark Riley had. He had all the same powers. But unlike him, Psycho Duck enjoyed it. He enjoyed being powerful and immortal. True, Psycho Duck was more experienced and true, Psycho Duck didn't use his powers more often than Ark Riley did. But there was still that level of enjoyment that unerved him.
And this was what went through Ark Riley's mind as he laid naked in the bridal suite. It was the morning after yet another elaborate and beautiful ceremony, followed by a lavished reception. Psycho Duck had worn a white gown and couldn't stop grinning through the entire service. Psycho Duck's mother once again was drunk again, and made her usual scene at the reception, which ended as always with her running off with Ark's best man. Ark remembered the night with a smile on half of his face, while the other half set in a grimace.
He looked over at his beautiful bride. Psycho Duck laid next to him as dark haired beauty, snoring contentedly. Ark Riley was deliriously happy and felt stupid for it. He had just married to the woman he loved more than anything in the world, and he knew it was Psycho Duck. He wanted to kiss her on the ear, tell her how much he missed her while sleeping, while at the same time, he wanted to storm out of the room. He decided to take the middle road.
"Duck, wake up,"
The girl beside him was gone and Psycho Duck sat in his usual form in her place. He played on a Game boy as though he had been for hours. "I am awake." He said.
Ark rolled his eyes, "And pay attention."
"Ah, that we're going to have a problem with."
Ark sat up, instantly dressed from the waist down, "Psycho Duck, you can't keep ending these fights with us getting married all of the tme."
"I don't," Psycho Duck reminded him, his finger mashing the buttons, "We do."
"I..." Ark stopped, knowing Psycho Duck's logic was sound, "Seriously married? What's up with that?"
"That's nice." Psycho Duck said, pressing some more buttons.
"Are you paying attention?" Ark hissed.
There was a long pause. "Yes." Psycho Duck answered.
Ark sighed, "Look, maybe we should spend some time apart."
"Fine by me," Psycho Duck folded up his device and pocketed it, "I'm tired of putting up with your crap anyway."
"My crap?"
"Yeah, you're crap." Psycho Duck cracked his neck, "All of your whiney bullshit. So you got phenominal god like powers. So you hate the universe cause you got them through torture. Grow up." Psycho Duck pointed at him, "You have the potential of living a very long time. No one has fun with that by being miserable."
"Well, what about you?" Ark Riley snapped back, "The least you can do is show a little restraint."
"See? Crap." Psycho Duck said. He pulled a hot dog out of the fridge, fully dressed and took a bite. "Do you want to keep the top of the wedding cake?"
Ark fumed, then turned away. "Yes." He huffed.
"Cool. I'll catch you later." And with that, Psycho Duck walked out the window and dropped the 37 floors to the street below.
Ark felt miserable again. Not because of what Psycho Duck said, but because this fight would end in their being married again. "You were great last night!" He called from he window.
"Thanks!" Was the only reply.
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