Log 9
The deed's been done. With a little help from me, or rather a LOT of help from me, Snow White has been revived. And with a little convincing, Snow White has left with the PRINCE.
The dwarfs seem satisfied, and were happy to see the story over. The phone buzzed and informed me that the story had a happily ever after. Snow White's fate is now out of my hands. But not her phone number. Time to look for another story to straighten. Psycho Duck, signing off.
Addendum. So the Big Bad Wolf has been listening to my logs and asked why I was so vague in this log, and when I told him exactly what happened, he said it was too funny not to record. Stupid sidekicks. Alright...
The dwarfs seem satisfied, and were happy to see the story over. The phone buzzed and informed me that the story had a happily ever after. Snow White's fate is now out of my hands. But not her phone number. Time to look for another story to straighten. Psycho Duck, signing off.
Addendum. So the Big Bad Wolf has been listening to my logs and asked why I was so vague in this log, and when I told him exactly what happened, he said it was too funny not to record. Stupid sidekicks. Alright...
So me and the Prince arrive in the meadow and the wake is still happening after a day and a half. Remember what I said about men and losing their women? Anyway, the Prince comes up and says he doesn't know what to do. So I told him he has to kiss her. He asked if that was appropriate. I told him that only a true love's kiss could break the spell. Or something like that. Then he gives me an excuse about not knowing her well enough, and I told him if he didn't kiss her, I'd pull off his fingernails.
So he leans down, takes her head in his hand and gives her a peck. Nothing happens. Another peck and nothing happens. Finally I push Prince out of the way, and showed him how it's done. So leaned over, pulled my mask aside and kissed her on the lips. And she instantly awakes. Go figure.
She was sufficiently dazed enough for me to put Prince back into place, but she kept telling me how grateful she was to have met me. And if there was anything she could do for me to reward me for my kindness and bravery. It was kind of embarrassing. But I told her to leave with the Prince and have a happily ever after.
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Snow White and the Seven Dwarves
Adapted by The Dragon Bard
Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs
Once upon a time...
There lived a princess who's mother had died and her father remarried a very vain woman. So vain was she that she could not stand the thought of being anything less than the most beautiful woman in all the land. In her room she kept a magic mirror, which could only speak the truth, and every day the Queen would ask the mirror who was the fairest in all the land. And every day the mirror would reply that indeed, the most beautiful woman in all the land was she. And for a time, this was so.
During this time, the princess grew older and more beautiful. Her hair was as black as ebony, her lips as red as roses and her skin as white as snow. Because of her beautiful skin, she was known as Snow White, and she was very beautiful. So beautiful in fact that one day, when the Queen asked her mirror the question, the mirror replied that the fairest woman in the land was the stepdaughter she neglected, Snow White. And the vain queen, in her fury, ordered that Snow White was to be taken to the woods and murdered.
The woodsman obeyed and took Snow White into the woods, but once there, he could not bare to kill her. And so he left her in the woods, thinking that some woodland animal would do the terrible deed in his stead. But the creatures of the wood took pity on the sweet and beautiful young woman, who had no cruelty in her heart, and they led her through the forest to a cabin in the mountains, the home of the mining dwarfs. When the Dwarfs came home, they were overjoyed to have her for company and took her in to protect her. And so she lived with them for a time without fear.
Until one day when the Queen, on a fancy, asked the mirror who was the fairest in all the land. And the mirror replied that Snow White was the fairest. The Queen told the mirror that Snow White was dead, to which the mirror replied that Snow White lived in the mountains with the seven mining dwarfs. The queen knew it spoke true and in her fury decided to end Snow White herself. She disguised herself as a peddler and went to the Dwarf's house when they were out. And she sold Snow White a poisoned comb. And when the comb touched her head, she fell down dead. And the Queen departed, but as soon as she did, the Dwarfs arrived home and removed the comb from Snow White's head. They told her never to let anyone in while they were away.
Back at the castle, the mirror told the Queen how she failed. She returned the next day with a magical scarf, which she tied around Snow White's neck and it sucked the air out of her. But again as the Queen left, the Dwarfs came back, and told Snow White after they released her, never under any circumstances should you let anyone in, as they were most likely the Queen in disguise.
The mirror told the Queen of her failure, and the Queen created a poisoned apple to end the girl. So cleverly made was this apple, that one side was poisoned and the other was not. And so when she came to the Dwarf's house, Snow White would not let her in. But the Queen bit into the good side to show her no harm would come to her, and Snow White bit into the apple and fell down dead. And when the Queen came home, the mirror told her that she was indeed the fairest in all the land.
The Dwarfs were saddened by the passing of Snow White. Even in death, she was beautiful and fair, so much so that they could not bare to put her in the ground, where her still radiant beauty could not be seen. They placed her in a glass coffin and in the meadow by their house. And for months, at least one of them would always be by her side, tending the grave or simply standing and crying.
A Prince came along one day and saw the beautiful girl lying in the coffin. And he instantly and hopelessly fell in love with her. He dropped from his horse and took up Snow White in his arms. And with a kiss on the lips, Snow White awoke and there was much joy all around. The Prince took Snow White away to his kingdom and away from her wicked and vain stepmother...
...and they all lived happily ever after.
There lived a princess who's mother had died and her father remarried a very vain woman. So vain was she that she could not stand the thought of being anything less than the most beautiful woman in all the land. In her room she kept a magic mirror, which could only speak the truth, and every day the Queen would ask the mirror who was the fairest in all the land. And every day the mirror would reply that indeed, the most beautiful woman in all the land was she. And for a time, this was so.
During this time, the princess grew older and more beautiful. Her hair was as black as ebony, her lips as red as roses and her skin as white as snow. Because of her beautiful skin, she was known as Snow White, and she was very beautiful. So beautiful in fact that one day, when the Queen asked her mirror the question, the mirror replied that the fairest woman in the land was the stepdaughter she neglected, Snow White. And the vain queen, in her fury, ordered that Snow White was to be taken to the woods and murdered.
The woodsman obeyed and took Snow White into the woods, but once there, he could not bare to kill her. And so he left her in the woods, thinking that some woodland animal would do the terrible deed in his stead. But the creatures of the wood took pity on the sweet and beautiful young woman, who had no cruelty in her heart, and they led her through the forest to a cabin in the mountains, the home of the mining dwarfs. When the Dwarfs came home, they were overjoyed to have her for company and took her in to protect her. And so she lived with them for a time without fear.
Until one day when the Queen, on a fancy, asked the mirror who was the fairest in all the land. And the mirror replied that Snow White was the fairest. The Queen told the mirror that Snow White was dead, to which the mirror replied that Snow White lived in the mountains with the seven mining dwarfs. The queen knew it spoke true and in her fury decided to end Snow White herself. She disguised herself as a peddler and went to the Dwarf's house when they were out. And she sold Snow White a poisoned comb. And when the comb touched her head, she fell down dead. And the Queen departed, but as soon as she did, the Dwarfs arrived home and removed the comb from Snow White's head. They told her never to let anyone in while they were away.
Back at the castle, the mirror told the Queen how she failed. She returned the next day with a magical scarf, which she tied around Snow White's neck and it sucked the air out of her. But again as the Queen left, the Dwarfs came back, and told Snow White after they released her, never under any circumstances should you let anyone in, as they were most likely the Queen in disguise.
The mirror told the Queen of her failure, and the Queen created a poisoned apple to end the girl. So cleverly made was this apple, that one side was poisoned and the other was not. And so when she came to the Dwarf's house, Snow White would not let her in. But the Queen bit into the good side to show her no harm would come to her, and Snow White bit into the apple and fell down dead. And when the Queen came home, the mirror told her that she was indeed the fairest in all the land.
The Dwarfs were saddened by the passing of Snow White. Even in death, she was beautiful and fair, so much so that they could not bare to put her in the ground, where her still radiant beauty could not be seen. They placed her in a glass coffin and in the meadow by their house. And for months, at least one of them would always be by her side, tending the grave or simply standing and crying.
A Prince came along one day and saw the beautiful girl lying in the coffin. And he instantly and hopelessly fell in love with her. He dropped from his horse and took up Snow White in his arms. And with a kiss on the lips, Snow White awoke and there was much joy all around. The Prince took Snow White away to his kingdom and away from her wicked and vain stepmother...
...and they all lived happily ever after.
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