Something to write about...

So, since pressing forward with new or recent ideas has been falling through, I've decided to step back and take a look at some of my older/abandoned work to see if there is anything inspirational. It's not easier to look at by any means, but at least it's a different type of frustrating than from 'ugh I can't think' to 'ugh, did I really write this crap?' And I've been listening to music on YouTube, hoping to find some musical inspiration. Blind Guardian is awesome by the way.

So I've been thinking about two very different projects today, and debating the pros and cons of working on both. The first is my Neverwinter Nights: Kingmaker fan fiction, the second is the sequel to my short story Slayer and Prey, which would become a novel.

For those of you who don't know, Neverwinter Nights is an role playing computer game based on Dungeons and Dragons. I started writing a fan fiction based off a particular story in NWN called Kingmaker, a small little story that promised to be a series. Instead it was a lame one shot. So I thought I would continue writing the story as I saw it as a fan fiction. It was the first story I ever published online. Of course, it was an adult fiction, meaning there were the occasional naughty bits. They were by no means the focus of the story, but they were integral to the plot. I liked writing it, and wrote about eight chapters over the course of five years. However, after years of no comments of ratings, yet a hundred hits a week after a chapter upload, I decided that it really wasn't worth my time without feedback, so I decided to drop it and move onto other things.

It is a pity cause the story was pretty good. I liked the characters and I liked the interaction between them. Granted there were some Mary Sue characters, and more and more original character came into the mix. But it did get over a hundred hits a week. It was weird that no one would comment, even if to just say "Hey, you're work is crap, go back to grade school you immigrant." I don't really know what a troll would say, I've gotten worse though...

The cons to going back though is that the novel is fan fiction. I'd never be able to publish it and my audience would have to be purely online. Plus I don't know who exactly would read it. Neverwinter Nights is not as popular as it was, not to mention Kingmaker not being popular even when it came out. Still, it is one of those, 'if I don't get it out of my head, it will be there forever' sort of stories. Maybe we shall see.

The second project is the sequel to Slayer and Prey. Raks has and quite possibly always will be one of my more tragic heroes and in Slayer and Prey, he took a turn for the worse, becoming a malicious vampire slayer. And if some of you thought he was bad in Slayer and Prey, that's only a taste of what he might be like in Slayer and Prey 2. I just can't get it out of my head sometimes. Evey time I hear a violent beat, that makes me skin crawl or my heart pump harder, I feel myself sinking into my depression. And there, right around the corner is this novel I've yet to write. I even get chills thinking about the title.

It's weird. As much as I fear writing Slayer and Prey, it's probably out shadowed by my disappointment in myself for not having written it yet. If I seriously think about it, it's been two years, I could tell you almost everything that happens in it, I've written the characters in my head, the major scenes, who says what, I've gotten the foreshadowing and metaphor in place, I've practically written it in my head. So why hasn't it been written yet?

The truth? It kind of feels weird. It's my brainchild, my masterpiece, and I've made it something perfect in my mind. So how do I translate something in my mind to paper and make it as perfect there? What if others don't like it?

I know, I know, get over yourself Eric. But it is part of what I fear. Plus, the story is rather depressing. It's violent, none of the characters are very nice and the nice ones are the ones to die or get hurt. It's how it goes.

Not sure where I was going with any of this, but it was something to write about. Talk to you soon guys.

Peace and blessings
Eric